LOVE DOESN'T HURT

Both Dr. Phil and Oprah dedicated their March 11th shows on women and Domestic Violence, specifically discussing the shocking story of Chris Brown and Rhianna. During the show, Oprah also interviewed a group of female students from Charlotte, North Carolina whose friend was shot to death by her ex-boyfriend. The murdered girl was described as outgoing, popular and talented and none of her friends knew that she was involved in an abusive relationship until she was killed. In all the stories I have read about domestic violence, there always seems to be a common thread -- the woman's secrecy of the abuse and her fear of leaving the abuser.

But sometimes it isn't always fear that keeps the woman from running in the other direction. So many young women have terrible self-esteem issues no matter how beautiful, smart and successful they are. A young girl in Oprah's audience made a statememt that she felt it was wrong for Chris to hit Rhianna but that he did it in self defense and was trying to protect himself. She also went on to comment that Rhianna probably felt guilty and that's why she went back to Brown. Oprah addressed the girl's comment by stating that in her (Oprah's)opinion, Rhianna went back to him because of low self esteem issues. Tyra Banks, who co-hosted the show, admitted that she too was involved in an emotionally abusive relationship for years until she finally had the courage to end it. What is even more amazing is that Rhianna is back with the man who left her face looking like a bloodied piece of meat and who are even planning to sing a duet together. What kind of message is Rhianna communicating to all the young girls who look up to her and admire her? She is also in danger of destroying her newly found success as a pop singer for this schmuck and for what? So he can use her face as his personal punching bag whenever he gets angry?

There was discussion that both Chris and Rhianna came from emotionally abusive homes so both of these people are very familiar with these types of unhealthy relationships. It is almost as if Rhianna feels she deserves to be beaten and Chris Brown feels he has the right to beat her. The fact that many young people believe Rhianna deserved to be brutalized because Chris was acting out in "self-defense" is horrendous all by itself. This opinion is right up there with idiots who feel that girls deserved to be raped because they wear short skirts and high heels, even if she says "no." She was asking for it because she was dressed like a prostitute. It just goes to show that we haven't gotten that far as a civilization when women being beaten and raped are viewed as something that they probably deserved. What did she DO to him that warranted such aggressive actions? Sure, we've come along way to vote in a black president, but women are still considered the second-hand citizens of the world, and some cultures even encourage the murder of women if they disobey their husbands.

The 24-7 Press Release for Oprah's show "Love Doesn't Hurt" states the following eye-opening statistics regarding violence against women in the United States alone:

• In the United States there are 3800 animal shelters nationwide and only 1500 shelters for women that are victims of domestic violence.

• Young women ages 16-24 experience the highest rate of domestic violence.

• 5.3 million Domestic Violence incidents occur each year among U.S. women.

• Every 15 seconds in the U.S. a woman is beaten.

• About 1 in 4 women are likely to be abused by a partner in her lifetime.

These numbers will most likely increase as the economic crisis continues to financially devastate families across the nation. It is Rhianna's duty as a role model to testify against Brown and set a precedence for all women who have experienced and survived domestic violence. It is Rhianna's responsibility to communicate the message that no woman deserves to be brualized, and the man who dares to go there will be punished to the umph degree. Unfortunately, Rhianna's reconciliation with Brown is an indication that she is going to "stand by her man. " I only hope that the next time Brown's violent temper flares up, he doesn't close Rhianna's umbrella for good.

I applaud both Dr. Phil and Oprah for using their shows as vehicles to communicate awareness of domestic violence against women and how we as a nation can stop it.